There is this false narrative floating around that we need to be happy all the time.
We are being told we can't just sit back and process a unique, difficult or bad situation. Instead people are telling us we need to find the good. Search out the blessing. Or worse, just get over it.
I understand where this concept came from. But we have taken it overboard. We have gone so far there is actually a term for this behavior. It is called toxic positivity.
I know you know what I am talking about.
Ya know that one person who always has a quirky smile on their face. You know it is fake and wanna smack it off, but can’t.
Ok, try this one.
Ya know that person who every time you sit down to talk to them about something, they blow off your concerns. Or try to make you either feel silly for complaining when others are struggling. Like you are being petty.
My favorite throws a couple of Bible verses at you and tells you to spend more time reading/studying so you can appreciate all you have.
Let’s not forget about the person who just sits back and tells you, it isn’t that bad. Just suck it up and move on. I would love to have your life.
And last but not least the person who says, just put a smile on your face and think positive thoughts. ‘Cause that will fix everything. Think it in your mind and it will happen.
Preaching and teaching all the time about seeing a blessing, looking for the good, is so dangerous for our emotional health. Not to mention mental health.
We need time to process the emotions and feelings that we encounter. That means the good and the bad ones. And, yes bad stuff happens.
If we don’t allow people to feel those bad emotions or feelings they will continue to stuff them down. The pitfall to this scenario is they will either explode or seek other avenues to numb themselves.
Both are very dangerous.
And we don’t want either.
Next time someone comes to you a little bummed out, check to see what they really need.
Don't be so quick to jump on the happy train. They may just need to unload and process some emotions that are weighing them down.
This is real life! People aren’t happy all the dang time.
Be happy to guide them so they can jump back on the track that much faster.
If you are a toxic positivity person be brave enough to be vulnerable and say I am not good today. I promise someone will step up and listen.
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