We need to change the way we view asking for help.
This topic was sparked off of a conversation with a teenager who needed to ask for help to do something.
Back story a piece of paper needed to be taken into a building and they didn't feel comfortable doing it. My suggestion was why don't you ask Jill to do it.
You would think that I had asked this girl to do something that was incapable of any human being. Literally her eyes started bolting up with tears and she was on the verge of crying because I suggested she ask for help.
We have gone from teaching our girls to being so independent and strong that they no longer can feel like they can ask for help.
We need to be sure that in the process of raising our girls to be strong women we also demonstrate that asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness.
Because if they can't ask for help on the small things then they won’t ask for help on the big things either. And that’s when the real trouble begins.
For me personally I also struggle to ask for help.
In walking back her situation many clues and feelings rose to the surface.
Which got me thinking. Here are a few reasons I don’t tend to ask for help
If I ask for help it makes me feel like I am less of a person.
Less of a mom.
I am afraid of appearing lazy.
I am afraid of appearing incapable.
It is unbecoming of women to ask for help.
I will look weak.
Great moms never need help.
I don’t know how to ask for help.
This was a wake up call for me.
I have to teach my girls how to ask for help on the small things in life. So when they need help they know how to ask for help with the big things.
I am not just talking about asking for physical help, but emotional and mental help was well. We can’t drop the ball here.
We need to create an environment where girls feel safe enough to say I need help. I am tired. I don’t know what to do. I am scared. These are some of their toughest years of their lives.
Not only are they dealing with being a teenager in a world where everyone knows everything. But then add those hormones to the mix and it can be all too overwhelming.
Let’s stop setting them up for failure.
Preach being strong. Preach being independent. But demonstrate what asking for help looks like also.
The change begins with you. Start small. Ask for help with small tasks. If you would like more help in this area, join our Facebook Community- The Invisible Mom