You are the problem!

Sir, you are part of the problem!
You are part of the reason so many girls and woman have self-image problems.

You are part of the reason we can not look at ourselves in the mirror and see anything else but what society, media, and people like you point out as flaws.
Why does our appearance have to be the sum of what we are?

So here is the interaction that occurred today while I was at work:
Stranger: "How much longer do you have?"
Me: "What do you mean?" Knowing full well, what he meant, (he was referring to my belly) but he made this conversation awkward, so I was going with it.
Obviously, by this time he realized I wasn't pregnant and instead of just saying sorry, and moving on, he dug his hole so much deeper.
** An Important Lesson Here: Keep your mouth shut unless you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is pregnant.**

Now, to be fair, he did try to backtrack but it only made the situation worse.
  • It was the way I was standing.
  • Oh, it must be the shirt I was wearing that made me look that way.
I am sorry but there is no way to get out of that situation other than saying I am a total jerk, I am sorry, and then SHUT YOUR MOUTH.


Quit talking about how girls and women look. 
Not only did you point out my "big" pregnant belly.  A belly I am fully aware is there. A belly I see every time I look in the mirror.
But then you made it even more personal by attacking my appearance. It shouldn't matter how I stand or how my shirt fits.
Now you have added to the problem even more.


I should be able to embrace who I am, without being judged for my appearance. 

I know I have a pooch and I realize it looks like I may be pregnant, I see my belly every day. 
But here is the reality behind it.
  • I have had 3 kids.
  • I have Degenerative Disc Disease in my back. 
  • I have (at last count) 3 discs in my lower back that are bulging out.
  • I have Sciatica, and on occasion, I have a nerve that is being pinched that shoots pain down my leg. Which in case you don't know, makes walking or standing incredibly painful. 
  • There are points throughout some days I can not even lift my leg without pain. So working out or even exercising was never a big priority since doing said activities only inflamed with pain. 
So, instead of embracing who I am, and the obstacles I have endured. I struggle to meet the demands that society says I need to meet. But the truth is:

  • I don't need to be so skinny, just for appearance sake, that is unhealthy.
  • I don't need to be wrapped in my appearance to please others.
  • I don't want to have an eating disorder.
  • I don't want to self-harm myself because you don't think I am worthy enough as I am.
These struggles are what girls and women deal with every day because of small comments about their appearance.   


Your comments about my appearance crushed my self-esteem. I wish I could say that those words didn't hurt, but they dug deep. 

Not only did those few words crush the hard work that I have done on trying to improve the way I feel about myself and the way I Iook, but also all the physical work that I have been doing.

I wish that I could tell you this was a once in a blue moon encounter but sadly, this happens probably twice a month.

Not just from men but women also.

In the future, please be mindful of what you are saying and the consequences your words may have on the other end. Don’t be part of the problem.

If you are a woman or girl suffering from issues about your image to please seek help. 
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