You deserve love, happiness, compassion, and understanding in your life. Regardless of what your past entails. Do not listen to the lies in your head. The words in your head are just playing games with you. Keeping you trapped into believing you are not worthy. Holding you down so you can never rise up and see true Freedom. Dragging you back to keep from feeling unconditional love. This is where your relationships play a key role in the outcome of your life.
Relationships can be tricky though. In order to have a relationship with people, you have to learn to trust people. This is no easy task for some. OK... me! Most people build trust by letting people get close to them. Sharing experiences with them. Living life together. And whatever else normal people do. But not here. Nope. I play my cards close to my chest.
Seriously. I was once told that I have steel doors over my heart. I was told I needed to open those doors to let some kindness and love come in and flow out. Yes, true words from a now close friend. We all joke about it now. But the first time those words were spoken, the pain felt like a sharp knife being stabbed into my heart. I was devastated. I know I am rough at times but not that bad. I can’t even describe the wounds of those words. No fear, friends. My girl had no idea how bad those words hurt me. Her intention was not to cause harm. She was slightly teasing me on how rough around the edges I can be.
For me, the by-product of the fights going on in mind is, I tend to keep people at bay. I can’t decide who deserves a seat at the table and who is out for blood. Most often, the fear of being hurt is too high of a price to pay. Sadly, people only know what they see. No matter how many times we say don’t judge a book by its cover, we still do. Especially when it comes to people.
I’ve learned a few things about relationships. If your relationships are all one-sided, you need to wave bye and move on. You are worth the same respect and time you have given. Here is the truth. If they can not make time for you, then this relationship is not a priority for them. And that is OK. There is nothing wrong with that. No one is to blame. You both may be at different stages in your life. It is quite possible that the time is not right for this relationship. Or sadly, you have outgrown that relationship. Which is also OK. Change is a natural aspect of life. Unfortunately, that change comes in the form of relationships we aren’t ready to let go of.
Sometimes, we fixate our attention trying to make something work, only to be destroyed in the process. We set expectations or standards for people to follow, whether we realize it or not. The funny thing about expectations/standards, if they aren’t spoken into words, expectations are the silent killer. I am not saying you need to sit down with people and physically speak words of expectations or standards into a relationship. Actions speak louder than words. Read the warning signs.
Often times, we expect too much from other people. This isn’t right or wrong. Sometimes, we just build people and relationships into more than what they are. Evaluate whether that relationship is worth the hard work or should you fold ‘em and move on. Sometimes the relationship or friendship we want the most, aren’t the right ones. That is a hard fact to accept. This is especially hard if you have invested lots of time and effort. This doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends and love each other. It just means you do it from a distance.
Stop making yourself small so others feel comfortable or accept a false you. You have found your value and they are still searching for theirs.
Either way, you need to quit setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache.