You can't coach from the couch.
Or the corner for that matter.
No one will ever take you seriously if they never see you doing the things that you say are saying need to be done.
Gone are the day of — Do as I say not as I do.
You are going to have to get up off the couch and get into the game if you want to be noticed, much less taken seriously.
One night after dinner, the children were cleaning up the kitchen. It was about 5 minutes into the ordeal when all hell broke loose.
Having 3 children with a huge age gap can be a challenge. This night was one of those times.
The "baby" (does 7 still count as a baby?) of the family wasn’t performing up to the standards of one of the older teens. Nothing the youngest child did was good enough.
Which of course triggered a meltdown, followed by a screaming match.
I get it, who wants to be constantly told they aren't good enough?
In the other room, laid out on the couch watching T.V. was my husband.
He wasn’t in the same room as the children. All he could hear were bits and pieces of the chaos coming from the other room. He proceeds to give direction to the children from his perspective of what he thought was happening.
Which I wasn’t happy with, and let him know that. In a not-so-nice way. (sorry, 'bout that)
If I recall correctly the words were....you don't get a say in this matter. If you aren't knee-deep in the situation you don't get to have an opinion of what went down and how to handle it.
I believe that in order to resolve the situation when possible; you need to be in the room. You need to be actively engaged. Seeing with your own eyes what is happening and not hear what you want to hear.
When you can see what is happening and feel the emotions in the room, you can navigate the outcome. Getting your hands in the mix and leading by example allows the other people involved to see how to react next time.
Instead of yelling and screaming, take time to slow down and show your people how to do something. It changes everything. By allowing your people to see you doing the work alongside them, you have also gained their respect.
Decide to stop coaching from the couch or the corner and get into the game so you can help control the outcome.
Your team will appreciate the efforts and you will all move forward faster together.