Do you serve or volunteer out of a place of wanting to help or because of a nudge forcing you to do it? For fear of saying no? Even more importantly are you serving because you are looking for a place to fit in or are you seeking approval?
I know for me, it was the latter. I was constantly saying yes to people when I really wanted to say no. But the fear of letting people down bothered me. Then there was me trying to find my place to fit-in. And lastly only because I hate to admit it I was seeking approval from other people.
Whether it was at church or my kids school or even sometimes with my husband I feel like I have to say yes. I mean aren’t we here to serve others?
I should be able to do all the things. People needed my help therefore I was supposed to give it. Even if that meant my needs and desires were overlooked.
What I've come to learn from burnout is that sometimes putting yourself first is perfectly okay. Actually that act or behavior is pretty brave in so many ways.
Not only that but when you say yes to everything nothing holds value anymore. I became consumed with keeping up this image that I could do everything AND that I enjoyed doing it.
At first it was nice, and I felt needed. Everyone knew I was the person to call when something needed to happen. Only, that circle of everyone kept getting bigger and bigger. Before I knew it I had no time left for me, much less my family.
The moment you step back and say NO, I don’t think I can- is the best feeling in the world. Especially once you realize the world will still spin without you managing everything.
One of the hardest concepts to learn was that my status, self-worth or popularity isn't placed upon chasing somebody else down for approval of my life.
Learning and accepting I am valuable just as I am was hard.
Coming from a recovered people pleaser trust me when I say…
The most freeing moment in one's life begins with the approval of thyself and the lack of chasing approval from others.
Not only does chasing approval lower your happiness level. But it also puts you back into the comparison trap or someone else’s race. Plus if you are also looking for approval from the outside world, there will always be another person to impress.
My ah-ha moment
You can’t be in two places at the same time. So we are either envious or we are happy. You are either running or living. How would you rather live your life?