You Are Seen

You Are Seen

The emptiness is real. The heartache cuts deep. The loneliness feels like abandonment. The tears flow freely. There is no longer any room for me.  


Do the words relate to you at all? Have you ever felt that way? 


I know I have. But here’s the thing I have learned... all that chatter starts in your head and is plain nonsense. That is the devil playing mind games with you. And if YOU allow him to keep talking to you that way, he has won the battle. You gave him the power to win.

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bible

Pass The Damn Kleenex's

Pass The Damn Kleenex's

When was the last time you had a really good cry?


I am talking about that ugly cry that you save for when you are by yourself. Ya know the one where you are crying uncontrollably. Crying so hard you can’t catch your breath. The tears are falling so fast they could fill up a swimming pool.

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emotions, feelings,

Set the Tone For Your Day

Set the Tone For Your Day

I don't know about you but I love some structure. So when I have my day or more specifically my morning planned out and the shit hits the fan I begin a shutdown process.


I become overwhelmed, my anxiety start to accelerate and I allow my stress to brew to a boiling point. Most of the time, all these emotions are avoidable. I try to do to much to fast and set unrealistic expectations for everyone. If only I could slow down. 


This is how my morning was suppose to go. 


I would wake the kids up and have them to start getting ready for school. While they were getting dressed, I could hop in the shower. We would then have a quick breakfast. I would then pack lunches while they were finishing getting ready. We would walk out the door in record time. (not really but a mom can have dreams.) After dropping everyone off at their said location I was off to a scheduled meeting. 


But here is how it really went:


I woke up the kids and had them start to get dressed. The two older kids can make their own breakfast, so that was taken care of. I in the meantime, would jump in the shower and get ready. Because let’s be real, my kids move slow in the morning. When I was done I went to check on the status of the kids and found one kid pulled the blankets back up over her and went back to sleep. She wasn’t having it. Did I mention she is the slowest of them all. Of Course. 


Now we had less than 20 minutes to get her up, dressed, fed, lunch packed, and hair brushed. Even on a good, that ain’t gonna happen. At this point I had two options. 


I could 

  1. Stress us all out. Yell, scream, and follow her around the house putting pressure on her to move faster OR

  2. Do the inconvenient thing. Go ahead and take the older kids to school. Come back home and take care of the little one. 


I like the convenience of only going to town one time. My plan was to drop them all off one right after the other and then head straight out of town for my meeting.  


This is the moment I realized I had the power to control my day and set the tone of the day. 


Normally I am the type 1 person. I had a plan and needed to stick to it. All I can think about is being late and the rest of my day being behind. I choose to be a crazy women running around the house. In the process stressing everyone else out. Always thinking if I can just get back on schedule everything will be great.


 I had no regard to how my crazy would affect everyone else’s day. Quite frankly it wasn’t on my radar. If I am being honest. 


But I had recently spent the day with a special lady. Literally, just the day before, and our conversations had prepared me for this very moment. 


I took a deep breath and asked myself in this very moment what was the most important thing. 


My answer was my child who needed a little extra love and attention. And that my two older kids made it to school on time came in at a close second. Not the task of the day. Not my schedule. But her little heart needed her mommy. 


I adjusted my attitude, and calmly told the kids my new plan. This was unlike me, but they rolled with it. 


The two older ones have seen my crazy more than I want to admit. 


But we are all a work in progress. Right?


I am beginning to see how I can set the tone for the day. For all of us. 


When I made the decision to take the older kids and be later than I wanted to be to my meeting the whole mood inside the house shifted. 


My big kids, chilled out. I saw the change in their face and their whole bodies just relaxed. They were no longer on edge. 


We loaded up in the car and I drove the big kids to school. Then came back home and got our little one ready for school.


She was over an hour later than normal, but life happens.


Being a mom consists of more than just making sure they get to school on time. 


Part of our job is to teach our kids that no matter the circumstances they are important, valued, and loved. 


I can not rearrange plans everyday. I can not make every morning smooth. But on the days I can, I will make them the only priority. Late or not. 





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Blowout

Blowout
Here we are 3 days into the New Year and a total blowout just occurred. I feel like a hit a patch of black ice and I am sliding all over the place. Out of control. Ready to throw the keys into the unknown and be done. But what is that going to help? Nothing. It will only delay me more. 

I could go into the details of the blowout but then no one else could relate. And where is the fun in that? There is this impression that I can handle any road that I choose to travel. And that just isn’t the case. I prefer the smooth paved road, just as much as everyone else. But if I go off-road you better bet I am going to find my way back to the pavement.

A decision was made that altered my plans to my destination. I had no indications that my journey was about to derail. There were no warning signs. No check engine light flashed. No tire pressure signal. No ding to let me know I was low on gas. (That’s all I got y’all, I hope you got the picture.) 

Basically like a complete blow out of one of my tire. I am now running on a rim and three good tires. Can you relate? Do you know what I am talking about? Tired, Discouraged, Frustrated, Defeated, the list can go on...  

Here is the beauty in the journey.

You have two main options. 1) you can either get out, change your tire and get back on the road to your destination (#goals) OR 2) you can sit there inside your car and pout that things didn’t work out for you. Waste all your time and energy on this one moment. Lose your focus and momentum. Basically, slash your other three tires so you can never reach your destination. 

Personally, I would call AAA. Then, in the hour it takes for them to get to me, cry my eyes out. So that when my new tire is in place, I can get back in the driver's seat and peel out of here. This location is where dreams flourish or die. And I am not ready to see my goals die. 

So are you going to change your tire or sit there and slash your other three tires?




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life

Stop Talking - Start Doing

Stop Talking - Start Doing
Here we are, embarking on not only a New Year but a new freaking decade. I am already hearing people talking about next year using words like, “In January I am going to do… or, my New Year's Resolution for 2020 will be…” Why wait? Here is your 2020 wake up call. Stop talking, stop planning, and start work now. Nowhere is it written into law that changes can only happen at the beginning of a New Year. Quit being a chicken and start doing all the things today. Talk is cheap, and excuses don’t pay bills. 

if not now, when?

At this point in time, are you reflecting over the last decade or year wondering where your time went? Why you are no better off than a year ago? Stuck in the same place? Or thinking, “Man I should have done… or, I didn’t take enough chances. I played the last year on the sidewalk, where it was safe, where I could blend in and be small.” Goals aren’t crushed (conquered) on sidewalks. Dreams don’t come true without risk. The risk is either actually dreaming big or doing the work. 

The reason some people are successful, and I use that word lightly, isn’t because they know all the secrets. They don’t have a special sauce that makes life easier for them. It has nothing to do with them coming up with the best resolutions every year. It is simply because successful people actually do things, and do them consistently. Did you catch that, they actually work and not just talk. That is the secret sauce, my friend. 

Let’s sideline this topic (conversation) for a second. Success is not defined by wealth, life status, followers, friends, fame, or initials after your name. I don’t really care what Webster’s dictionary defines success as. Success has a different meaning to just about everyone. What I view as successful is not what you will see as success. For example, when I fail at something, that is still a success to me. It means I did something, I didn’t just talk about it. Our differences are what makes this world so great. So quit trying to be like everyone else. You were not created to fit inside a box.   

Ok, sorry, I am back on track. The secret to success is constantly showing up. Even on the hard days. I borrowed my husband’s favorite analogy to help build a picture for you, so you can relate to what the work looks like in real life. Thanks, babe for this story!  We all know people that want to lose weight. One person will join the gym, work their ass off daily, change their eating habits, and in the end, accomplish their goal. The other person will start off going to the gym, but as soon as working out gets hard or inconvenient, they tap out. The same goes for eating better. It takes a lot of work to shop, wash, cut up and prepare fresh foods. So once that aspect gets inconvenient, weak people tap out. One person consistently showed up when the other person quit. For the person that didn’t succeed suddenly, the gym didn’t work. Which that statement right there is rather amusing. The gym didn’t work. Not that the person let themselves down by not actually doing the work, but the gym failed them. I am pretty sure a treadmill is a treadmill, no matter which gym you go to. Yes, some treadmills are smoother, but the gist of the machine are the same. Friend, the gym didn’t fail you, you failed yourself. You can pull every excuse out of the sky as to why you didn’t meet your goals and the other person did. Until you are ready to admit you are the reason the gym didn’t work because of your lack of commitment, no gym will work for you.  

What is your “gym” or treadmill that isn’t working out in your life? Have you been toying with a career change? Relationship change? Move to a new place? Playing on the playground and not the sidewalk? Make a commitment to yourself today. Do the work. Don't find yourself in the same place next year wishing you had changed.

Go into every day with intention. Be intentional (mindful) with your thoughts and actions. Chase your goals. No need to wait for another year to start again. Every day is a blank canvas, a do-over so to speak. You will never be successful in playing it safe. If you have BIG dreams and goals, you have to quit making yourself small. This is hard in a world that wants everyone to be small. You can’t be big and small at the same time. Choose to be BIG in 2020. Best wishes to you and get off the sidewalk.


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