Here we are venturing into the second week of “homeschooling” and the walls feel as if they are starting to cave in. Do you feel like everything is starting to spin out of control? You are not alone.
Before I get started, let me give a shout out to all the people who act like they have all their shit together, while in reality they are crumbling on the inside. Stop and let the pieces fall where they will.
YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU KNOW HOW. Which translates to, you are doing a great job. Give yourself a break. As a matter of fact, we all are doing the best we know how.
Now, if I may insert some advice for you.
The people in your house are looking to you to see how to react. Be honest and real with them. Let them see your raw emotions. It is necessary for them to see you rattled and messy. Trust me when I say in the long run it will probably comfort them more than harm them.
Calm down, we are going to break that last statement.
I know you are thinking “as this chic lost her ever loving mind.” How in the world can my kids seeing me lost, confused, upset, rattled, messy and frazzled be a good thing?
Well settle in, because here it goes. (Give me a second, I need to get on my soapbox)
If you always portray yourself as knowing it all. Always in complete control. Are always well put together. Can handle anything. Never lose your marbles. Calm no matter what the world throws your way. Then your kids will begin to think that they need to be that way also. That my dear friend, is the furthest thing from the truth. In reality this where the storm really starts to brew inside THEM. Not you, but them.
Now you may react with the statement, of saying I know how to handle my emotions. Therefore my kids do not need to see the messy side of me. What will they think? Or these are adult issues no child should have to deal with.
Trust me when I say, I have your back on that. BUT I also think you are still wrong. Are there certain situations that are too big for a child's shoulders to bear? Absolutely! That is why you get to pick and choose the battles your child sees. This pandemic is a great place to start.
There is no way you can shelter them from this. Their world, along with ours, was turned upside down and shaken.
Back to my point. If they never see you struggle and put yourself back together, they will never know you DID struggle. They will never get to see how you handled yourself. Or see what actions you took to put yourself back together. Working through emotions and feelings is extremely important, and not something they need to be shielded from. Everyone has feelings. Let’s teach our kids how to deal with them. Because stuffing them down inside is not healthy.
Consider this, what happens when they get into messy situations in life, they don’t know how to handle those concerns. Or Even worse they feel as if they did something wrong, because they feel a certain way. Remember they never saw you struggle.
Your kids need to see that at times you also have BIG emotions. Yes, you need to be the rock for them but don’t shield them from everything. Again, you can not shield them from this pandemic.
I promise kids are stronger than we give them credit for. Let us agree that in times like these we openly discuss how we feel. No need to hide our uncertainty or act brave. Band together and talk it through. Words are powerful, but the actions behind those words are what they will remember.
If we can teach our kids how to handle emotions and feelings we have a fighting chance. The only way to keep our kids from storing up emotions and never dealing with them is by ignoring the problem.
Let it all out, so we can all help each other through these times. Scream a little. Dance a little. Go for walks. Cry a little. Laugh a lot. If we can show our weakness and ask for help, then we can find an outlet for those emotions. That will be the turning point and where we will RISE UP.