I survived!
August is coming to end and boy am I glad! August has been a hard month for me. Let's elaborate. I hate change and even more, I hate conflict.  Hate is a word I rarely use because I do not like it nor do I like the emotions and actions associated with that word.  For me, August was filled to the max with both of these emotions. My world was spinning at a rate faster than I was prepared to go. I have been on a journey discovering who I really am. Not who everyone else says I am. I wrote about that in the article I wrote for September. It is really good, you need to read it! 

The first part of the month was chaos with BTS and before that settled down a truckload of emotional stress appeared. The emotional stress was both mental and physical pain. More pain than I have felt in a long time. I literally suffered from major headaches for nearly 2 weeks. I next to never get headaches. The pounding in my head hurt so bad, I could barely function. My neck hurt so bad I could barely move it. But you did not see the pain. Because I didn't want you to see it. 

I scheduled an appointment with my chiropractor and he adjusted. Immediately after I felt great. A little dizzy from the blood flowing again. But that feeling only lasted for a short period then bam. It was like running into a concrete wall. Not that I have ever done that before, but I imagine it would hurt. After my second visit to the chiropractor, we were talking. I was baffled as to why I was in so much pain. No accidents, no falls. no head jerks... so why was I hurting so bad. He asked if I was under a lot of stress? And I was like welll... ya know who isn't.  He then proceeded to tell me emotional stress if not dealt with will come out as pain. 

Now let me pause here and say, I love my chiropractor. I love my essential oils. I believe in alternative medicine.  But dude, I gotta say you might be a little quacky when it comes to dealing with emotional issues and pain. I think you have crossed that line. 

So I go home and a day or so later I found a book I bought and forgot about.  If there is one thing I have learned on this journey it is all about timing. When I bought this book for several months if not a year ago I wasn't emotionally ready. But this day I was tired of being in pain. I was desperate. So I pulled out this book. Releasing Emotional Patterns with essential oils.  

releasing emotions books

I flipped to the pages that told me how to use the charts and whatnot. I located every part of my body that was in physical pain, flipped over the section of the book that told me what to do. What essential oil to use and where to apply them. I can't tell you how long it took to feel better. Whether it was minutes or hours. But I was released from all my physical pain. 

Here is what I learned if you do not deal with your emotional baggage, one way or another it is gonna getcha you. It is gonna find you. (Sorry, I couldn't stop. Now that song is in my head.) For me, my emotional baggage came out in physical pain. I became really good at burning my emotions. The only thing that can truly stop me in my tracks is severe pain. 

How your emotional baggage will come out. I don't know. For some it is food, eating disorders, gambling, porn, drugs, alcohol, abuse whether it be physical or mental, shopping, self inflict cutting. I don't know. Those aren't my stories. All I know is mine came through physical pain. I always thought I had dealt with issues before but apparently not. There was always just a little something that never felt right. I could never put my finger on what it was. But now, I have a peace that has come over that I have never felt before. 

Am I happy about what happened, absolutely not? But I refuse to let those issues control my life. Do not let your emotional issues or baggage control your life.  Set yourself free! It feels amazing. 

As if all everything I have already been through was not enough I then saw where someone copy and pasted my work and used it as their own. At first, I was pissed off, then I went mad, then I laughed. Apparently, my work is good enough for someone else to want to use.  See I choose to see the funny or better part of the story instead of focusing on the bad.

I bet you thought we were done.  Then the final straw happened. A decision needed to be made. A decision that I have struggled with for years.  But never fully ready to take the first steps. Talking about it was so much easier than actually doing it. A life-altering decision. Sort of like a test. Are you really ready to see your full potential? Or are you just full of hot air? Let's see what you are really made of. These are legit conversations going on in my head.  We had to make a decision as to whether I would step away from my part-time job at Walgreens. Walk away from 21+ year career. A job that I know I am good at. Lose part of my identity to explore what could be. Trust! Leap of Faith! I am happy to say that it didn't take us long to decided to go for it. As of Sept 1. I will no longer be employed by Walgreens. I could not be happier. Not because I am leaving Walgreens but because I am, at a place in my life where I am ready to be me. Not the person everyone says I need to be. I am ready for a change and I am excited to see where that change takes us. 

So my takeaways, deal with your emotional issues- whatever they are. DO not let them have the power to control your life. And change is good. Here is an exciting rest of the year!!!!

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